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Lucid Interval

So i am supposed to scribble the flow of my thoughts for 20 minutes to unblock my mind.The trouble is that at any point of time, there are so many thoughts pulling me in different directions that it’s difficult to hold on to the thread of one thought for long, but I’ll try.
The first and foremost thought, obviously, is ‘what should i write about?’ I currently have 3 most pre-occupying jobs at hand: taking some steps towards the novel swirling incessantly in my head, finishing the multiple short stories in pipeline and send them out to publishers, and decide whether or not i want to start a part-time job along with my writing. It’s been more than 6 months since I left my job in India and moved bags, barrels and all to the states. Until now, getting used to a new country, traveling to and exploring the places around and not having a work permit had been my excuses for not taking any concrete action in any direction (indecision has always been my nemesis), but now I am running out of excuses. The truth is the only thing I really want to do is write a novel and tell the story breathing and living in my head and get it over with. I know I can’t give my 100 percent to anything else until I finish this task. But every time I sit down to pin these thoughts to a piece of paper, I feel like i am drowning in the sheer volume and force of these thoughts. I find myself coming up gasping for air every half an hour! Yes, that is my attention span these days. This happens continuously for a few days, and I am so drenched in the rains of self-doubt, that I start looking for a shelter of blogging or finding a part time job or getting some poems/ short stories published. Then one day the clouds clear up and the Sun of hope is out and I can see clearly again, only to be lost after a few days. This cycle of insanity and lucid intervals, goes on and on and on…

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One thought on “Lucid Interval

  1. Hang in there =)
    I think, you proved with this post that you can find a way of solving the problems you are facing.
    In the beginning you stated that you have an unlimited number of things in your head which made you unable to focus. But then you listed the first three most important ones.
    Isnt that the way you might could get a grip on the trouble which kicks you around in your life as well?
    True, you lost focus a bit on the way of your post, but still, you managed to get focused. So why shouldn’t you be able to stay focused on your main problems as well?

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